BLIND DATES: If I do anythin' to make you uncomfortable, jus' let me know, honey! Now git in the back of the station wagon!

FAMILY REUNIONS: I'd like you to meet my girlfren. C'mere Sis!

DENTIST OFFICE: Doc, I admit it, I ain't been brushin' three times a day. Ya caught me!

SPORTIN' EVENTS: That's my boy. Damn I'm proud of him!

SPEEDIN' TICKETS: Gosh, Officer. Do ya think ya cud give a poor ugly bastard a break?

AMUSEMENT PARK: Escuse me, my brother drank chemicals at work an' he's only got a month to live. Wudja let us cut in?

WHEN THE WAITER TAKES YER ORDER: Do y'all have any food that fell on the floor and ya can't sell it to nobody else?

WHEN THE WAITER BRINGS THE CHECK: Do y'all take food stamps?

DROP YER TEETH IN THE EMTY ICE TEA GLASS AND WATCH THE WAITRESS!

PUTTEM ON YER PLATE AND ASK THE WAITER, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

AT THE MOVIES: Gosh, that popcorn is so good yore tongue will beat yore face up jus' gettin' to it. I can't believe nobody wud let it fall on the floor like that!

MORNIN' AFTER: Yew ain't as purty as I 'member. Was it gud fer yew too? Here, take my number. I'm sure yew'll want ME again'!

'MEMBER, YEW CAN STARE AT THE GIRLS AS LONG AS YEW LIKE! (Yew jus' don't know any better!)

Ifn yer in public, it's OK to pick yer nose. (Eatin's optional!)

Be sure to smell yew armpits 'fore yew say hi to a girl. (They'll know yew want to make a gud first impression!)

BILLY-BOB PICK-UP LINES:

Don't worry girl, beauty is jus' a flick of the light switch away!

Go ahead and give me yore phone number 'fore I change my mind 'bout askin' yew!

Yew know what they say 'bout the size of a man's teeth don'tcha?

Girl, I'd like to thro' yew on a plate and sop yew up with a biskit!

Girl, I seen yew eyeballin' me like a pork chop on a plate!

Girl, I'm no pushover, but I can be had!

Girl, playin' hard to get will get yew nowhere wif me!

IN TIME OF CRISIS: It's no big deal dude! Yer girlfren was starin' at me first. Don't worry, it happens all the time!